What is the point of it all, really?
Lots of stuff from the past caming zooming back today. My testimony and memories that had been shadowed from my mind came crashing in today. It also was crazy how my dear friend Joelle shared with me that she'd been having the same experience lately.
This whole leaving and starting over thing really makes you think. We chatted for awhile about that thought that I started out writing... what is the point, of all of it? Waking up, going to work, eating, having a "good time", spending money, doing "good" things, wasting time.... honestly. This is all nothing. It's nothing if it's just driven by selfish desires and unrequited satisfaction. This whole american thing of building a successful future and creating a comfortable lifestyle is so disturbing to me. How can we be so selfish for something that's wasting away so quickly? We get old, disasters happen, people loose jobs, something falls through. The list could go on and on. We aren't guaranteed anything in this life so why do we live in such an invincible manner? Seriously, I could have some kind of crazy heart attack or stroke and die right now. Or you could. Weren't not guarenteed any moment. How then do we justify our self-centered intricate plans to prosper ourselves?
Wow am I ready for my world to be rocked! This life is NOTHING if it's not used by the maker of the universe.
"I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. The Cross before me, the world behind me. Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back, no turning back."
This has become the tune of my heart the past few days. As each flies by I'm beginning to realize that none of it is worth anything if it's not lived for the one who died on the cross. I yearn for nothing besides the fullness of my savior. People crave power, success, food, money, love, comfort, purpose, intimacy. We crave completeness. I crave completeness. But all of those things just leave me empty handed and in worst condition than I started out as. If only we'd realize that this craving can only be satisfied by Jesus Christ!! His glorious riches and freedom are just waiting for us to come to Him. This is exactly what He's been teaching me the past few days. I'm not craving anything but HIM. I look for it in other places and leave empty because that's not where I will find it. My satisfaction is in Him.
Psalm 63A psalm of David.
You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.
I'm praying earnestly to seek for nothing but my Lord's face, just as David prayed in this Psalms. As I leave in just over two weeks, I'm preparing myself to never be the same. But I realize this is the attitude I need to have with each day- I don't have to be attending a renown bible institute to learn from the Holy Spirit. Because He has purpose in each day! We are to be living and sharing His glory in each moment of the day. Living in such a way that can only be explained by His son. Is that the way I live? Wow... so convicting. God have mercy on me as you teach me your ways! Amen.
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